It’s normal to feel guilty or worry about missing out on your child’s milestones, or even your frequent video calls you had to skip because of work and busy schedules. Your child genuinely understands your reasons.
Catching up or simply sharing a day in your life together still matters and will matter for the rest of their life, even if it is just a few seconds off of each other’s side of the world. While video calls and chat messages can sometimes feel dull or like a routine, there can be a fun and creative way to enhance your daily updates with your child.
Why Communication and Checking In is Important
When you stay connected, it gives your child:
1 | Comfort in Connection
Regular check-ins remind your child that you are listening, and they are heard. They want to share both the good and tough moments of their day without feeling judged or receiving advice they didn’t ask for. These moments also show that distance doesn’t weaken your bond, just like your “kamustahans,” whether you’re both home from work or school.
2 | Genuine Care for Moments That Matter
Inviting your child to call, message, or share updates shows that you care and are genuinely interested in their experiences. Children often get excited to share milestones or school events when they know you are paying attention. No phone, no distractions — just genuine connection and clear communication.
3 | Open Ears with Open Hearts
Showing sincere interest helps your child talk freely about their day. When they can share without judgment or pressure, they feel safe and understood. This eases fears of being misunderstood or scolded. Notice what they need during check-ins, sometimes they just want you to listen, and other times they may welcome advice or guidance.
Child behavioral specialist Dr. Raul Gaña, Director of the Child’s Help in Learning and Development (C.H.I.L.D.) Center, explains that openness from a child depends on the relationship being nurtured consistently. shared that many children of OFW parents tend to open up more to their friends than to their parents.
As per him,
“...dahil yung fear nung bata na hindi ako maiintidihan ng nanay [at tatay] ko, hindi ako maiintidihan ng magulang ko,”
Children sometimes look for someone who feels easier and safer to talk to, which are often friends who share the same interests or experiences, and this is not bad either! When communication feels warm, patient, and welcoming, children are more confident to share their stories. But when conversations feel rushed or emotionally heavy, they may hold back. He explained further,
“...yung openness ng bata, nagdedepende talaga sa relationship na nabubuo ng magulang sa anak,”
Parents would love to hear from their children themselves too.
What this initiative can give you as a parent:
1 | Boost in Emotional Connection
Love indeed knows no distance. Even short messages or calls can create shared moments that strengthen your bond. It may feel different for each of you, yet the love remains the same. Regular check-ins help you stay involved and understand your child’s emotional needs, whether they need someone to just listen or offer advice or a fresh perspective.
2 | Trust in Every Talk
Consistency and honesty show your child they can rely on you. By keeping your promises and finding time to call or send updates, you show your child that they can trust you. Beyond celebrating achievements, this creates a safe space for them to share problems, feelings, and ask for support. Modeling reliability and openness sets a positive example that your child can carry with them as they grow.
Dr. Gaña explained that children often share more with friends when their parents are away, and that’s normal. But he emphasizes the importance of forming strong family bonds early on:
“Mas marami ka dapat ma-share sa pamilya mo kaysa sa ibang tao. Bata palang sinasabihan ko na sila na magform ng magandang bond doon sa anak nila… [Minsan] may mga questions, na ang gusto natin makasagot ay ang [ating] mga magulang."
